I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Following God can sometimes be like walking in a giant maze.Many times you think you have found the right path,you think you have found the right thing,you think you've reached the centre of the maze,but just then you realize,you're even more lost than you were before.Many times you think that perhaps God has given you something,and you hold on to tightly,you refuse to let go,and after some time,God says,'My child,give it to me',and then you say,'No!' You refuse to let go ,and then you start to question God,'God you said this was for me,why do you take it away now?!' It feels horrible,to treasure something so much,and then one day find out you have to let go of it,to find out you have to give it all away.It feels horrible.
And that's how I feel right now.In truth,this week has been horrible.Not because school just started again,but because God is calling me to let go of certain things.It hurts a lot,I've broken down many times,felt I was all alone,needed someone to talk to but everyone seems to be busy suddenly with school work.I don't blame anyone,everybody should be busy now.And it is in these moments that God teaches me.He breaks me down so he can piece me again.I struggle with him,and by his grace he does not insist,he gives me time,but he comes knocking again.And he says,'Adriel,my son,would you give it to me?' I continued to struggle,and it carried on.Until last night,God came again.And again he asked,'Adriel,my son,would you give it to me?' I knew I couldn't run away anymore.I stopped fighting.I stopped struggling.I let go of myself,and the next thing I knew I was on my knees and crying out to God.I surrendered.
God you've taken so much from me time and time again,this time you're taking away something that you gave me.I treasure it so much,and now you're taking it away.You promised,said it was mine,but you're taking it away now.I can't understand,but I'm going to surrender it to you anyway,because I know you're have a plan for me.You see my future,and you know what's best for me,so Lord I'm trusting you on this.It hurts big time,but I know if I don't give it to you it'll hurt even more.You hold my world in the palm of your hand,and I'm yours forever.Everything within me belongs to you.Take me and use me as you will.Lord I made a commitment,and I'm not buying out.No way.Not when you know my beginnning and end,not when you know my past and present and future,not when you know what's best for me,not when you know me inside out,not when you love me.Not when you made a bigger sacrifice 2000 years ago and my sacrifice now seems so small.No way.I'm not buying out.Lord because you love me I'll give it all to you.Everything.
It was painful,yes,it felt horrible,it felt like there's an emptiness deep inside,but somewhere deep inside I knew I was doing the right thing.Somewhere deep inside I knew that heaven was rejoicing.And somewhere deep inside I too,felt a joyful feeling,something different from everything else I had felt before.And I felt how that woman by that well felt when Jesus broke her to piece her up and restore her.I knew I had surrendered not in defeat,but in true victory.
Simply because he loves me.

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;may the name of the LORD ever be praised" (Job1:21)


For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me